1. |
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I didn't ask for this. Wait, I did, and I was six, and I can't stop shaking.And I can't stop shaking.
Didn't tell me this would be permanent by any means.
Wait, you did, and I was six, and I can't stop shaking.
All these images I see, they're in flames, and I can't breathe.
Speak to me, they speak to me, and their voices hold the key.
The Man, he lives way up in space, and in his home there is a place.
But that place is not for me. I don't need your mercy .
That sound.
That sound, it needs to stop.
That sound, it needs to stop.
That sound.
That sound, it needs to stop.
That sound, it needs to stop.
Trumpets or thunder? They sound so alike—
Can't tell them apart, make it stop.
That sound.
That sound, it needs to stop, make it stop.
(repeat)
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2. |
II: Monsters ('12)
04:15
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Don't hide, little boy—walk from what was there;
no longer is it an affair with what you're told,
you've grown so old.
You've grown, so why'd you have to scream?
Thought I told you to stay still in there.
You cannot share to speak in stares, and let the bruises do the talking.
“Take this weight for me, and
let me be.
I didn't share my dreams with anyone that might have ever cared.”
Take one simple look in the mirror and tell me
if it's what one day you saw deep in the confines of your mind.
You pick at scars that cannot
cure yourself for good and forever.
Healing you will be—those iron fists, they cannot miss, their purple kiss.
“Their purple kiss I’m asking take this weight for me,
and let me be.
I didn't share my dreams with anyone that might have ever cared—
Don't just stand there,
take me somewhere for the monsters all to go away!
Brother, I'm scared—brother, I'm scared
I can't face it, all the faces say there's something there—
there’s something there! Brother, I'm scared…
Brother, I’m scared
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3. |
III: Knees Of War ('14)
02:37
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Here I am, as I stand, and I'm trying to think.
Such emotionless features that come from within,
and the closer to the sun, the same to the brink.
Milk and honey I taste, milk and honey I sin.
We were children with armor and double-edged swords,
and they stripped us of toys, and they stripped us of clothes.
He said if we'd stay still, we'd collect our rewards,
but, oh child, in this house—listen—anything goes.
Now my knees never heal, they've seen the horrors of war.
Now and then, they'll still ask, "What the hell did we fight for?"
That Old Man, he our garments tore,
and as I'm standing up my knees are still on the floor—
and as I'm standing up my knees are still on the floor.
As the memories leave, I'm still trapped in my keep.
Watch the story—repeats, and repeats, and repeats.
Oh, those scars on his hands are the scars on my knees,
and the blood from his chest is the blood at my feet.
Where have all good men gone? Why are ne'er-do-wells left?
Without thinking i did, without thinking I let,
and yet no one is witness to unspeakable theft—
we were children, our innocence stripped to forget!
Now my knees never heal, they've seen the horrors of war.
Now and then, they'll still ask, "What the hell did we fight for?"
That Old Man, he our garments tore,
and as I'm standing up my knees are still on the floor—
and as I'm standing up my knees are still on the floor,
and as I'm standing up my knees are still on the floor!
We were children with armor and double-edged swords,
and they stripped us of toys, and they stripped us of clothes—
and yet no one is witness to unspeakable theft—
we were children, our innocence stripped to forget.
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4. |
IV: Crossing ('12)
04:21
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I see how all the pretty colors line up into a pretty badly thought up song. Uptown, where I got lost just weeks ago trying to find the undertow of where I stand, misogynistic and aware, verbose and grandiose a flare—I care, you care, enough to barely get me through.
When did I become the one who barely can stand on his own two feet without falling? Barely can stand, and with only meters far from crossing—before you leave, just tell me that you’ll always love me. Before you leave, just take me with you; don’t forget me.
I see how all the pretty colors line up into a pretty badly thought up song. Uptown, where I got lost just weeks ago trying to find the undertow of where I stand, misogynistic and aware, verbose and grandiose a flare—I care, you care, enough to barely get me through.
When did I become the one who barely can stand on his own two feet without falling? Barely can stand, and with only meters far from crossing—before you leave, just tell me that you’ll always love me. Before you leave, just take me with you; don’t forget me.
Barely can stand, and I’m only meters far from jumping. Before you leave, just tell me that you’ll always love me. Before you leave, just take me with you; don’t forget me.
When will I stand, and I'm only meters far from jumping. When will I stand, and looking down just far from jumping? Before you leave, just tell me that you’ll always love me. Before you leave, just take me with you; don’t forget me.
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5. |
V: Bottomless ('12)
04:20
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You gave me life, Gave me hope, gave enough to tear me down.
You gave me will, you gave me way,
you gave me words to make me
Rivers iced over within, a chemical curse leading personal nursing.
It must be a loss of thought—
a loss of taught conditioning
Want to forget, before I forget like those who passed before me.
A moment of time, a moment of mind;
diagnosed black and white forming
But where do I go from here? Saying “pray” to deliver me from the empty.
They say that it shouldn’t be there,
but it’s there, believe me.
Awoken with shakes, a tremor I’ve marginalized further back before me.
Despite being late, an aural submission I take
for the soul who left me
And I will cut off my own ear, to try and dismantle the Roman Candles.
Our petrification detains us
from hearing Handel.
Home:
when did I leave you behind to tear me apart from every action
& every contraction I never made?
I’m on,
t’was then that I realized
my conscience still dies despite being baptized.
Before you find me on the floor,
out of my mind and posture,
remind yourself to close the door
to seal in my self-grandeur.
I am not going insane! I’m
crossing the border of
every
being.
Perhaps the only with worth are
those which are
living.
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6. |
VI: Bed ('15)
04:45
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Oh no, I've done it all again.
My mouth is dry, my face is red, and now I'm shaking in my bed,
instead of looking for a way to live again.
And I do it every time—
poison myself to bear my thoughts and survive your life.
I would have left, but I'm shaking in my bed instead.
Leave me alone, but leave your hands behind so they can hold mine.
I'm not my own, 'cause I still can't explain what's happening inside.
What's happening inside?
Tell the voices in my head to stop shaking in bed.
Oh no, i've done it all again.
I slept the day away pretending to live out my dreams.
It seems I'm looking for a way to live again.
Leave me alone, but leave your hands behind so they can hold mine.
I'm not my own, 'cause I still can't explain what's happening inside.
What's happening inside?
Tell the voices in my head to stop shaking in bed.
Where else can I go? I'm driving down the road and i'm doing sixty.
What else can I see? i'd ask you to come with me, but I'm still tipsy.
Why these thoughts of mine? Am I way out of line or am I withering?
Stop these thoughts of mine—they wither me, you wither me.
Leave me alone, but leave your hands behind so they can hold mine.
I'm not my own, 'cause I still can't explain what's happening inside.
What's happening inside?
Tell the voices in my head to stop shaking in bed.
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ABE New Brunswick, New Jersey
Wispy-voiced, singer-songwriter, with a synth and a pen.
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